Bullying old men, $3000 in loose change and return flights to the Taliban

Another week of the Trump administration. Satire and support from a British housewife. The kettle is on ... hot soothing tea for everyone...

Welcome to the Sick Of this Sh*t (SOS) Newsletter. A middle aged, British wife and mother’s roundup of the lunacy of the Felon, what we can do about it and how we are all going to survive it.

How would you like to remember JD Vance? I know no-one wants to remember him but suppressing trauma is not good for us and one day when he is back living his faux hillbilly life or preferably behind bars, we can reflect, with professional help, on our lasting memories of the long-lashed bitch. I think I will remember him as the man who bullied a dying Pope to grant him an audience. Read that again. Bullying a dying old man. A new low even for JD.

But no low is low enough for this administration and despite a clear ‘fuck off’ from the Vatican on Easter Saturday, the long-lashed bitch could not take ‘no’ for an answer (not the first Republican politician to be accused of that). On Easter Sunday he was granted an audience with Pope Francis. On Easter Monday, sadly Pope Francis died.

I was brought up a strict Catholic (are there any other kinds of Catholic?) and I would like to think my God has a wicked sense of humour. I hope he took Pope Francis to heaven on Monday in anticipation of the thousands of memes that would follow and damage it would do to JD’s already crumbling reputation. I would like to think God and Francis are chuckling away up there, scrolling through social media and ‘liking’ every JD bashing meme! It helps keep me sane (ish).

Still, no matter how crass and insensitive JD is, there is always someone else that can do better. Felon Trump was sad to hear of the passing of the refugee-loving Pope. ‘Rest in peace, Pope Francis! May God Bless him and all who loved him’ his message read on the Truth Social. I did not add the exclamation mark for comic effect – the Felon did that himself. He wrote just two sentences to share his thoughts on the passing of the popular Pontiff and made is sound like he was burying his pet dog!

Even more bizarre, although totally NFT (normal for Trump) was his announcement that him and Melania are looking forward to being at the Pope’s funeral. Who the fuck looks forward to a funeral? Not Melania for sure. Having to spend 48 hours in the company of her husband she is praying for the second resurrection and hoping Pope Francis will be back in office by the end of the week. Melania, aren’t we all?

More tea please, these fuckwits exhaust me…

As you know here at SOS, we have a strict DEI program and do not discriminate on the grounds of any protected characteristics. With this is mind I thought it was time we examine some of the female Republicans’ politicians who have been flying under the Rebecca Mack radar. Therefore, I present to you the curious case of Kristi Noem and the disappearing handbag (you say purse, we say handbag, whatever, is still fucking bonkers).

Kristi Noem. Sounds like a Disney Character. More like a Stephen King one. The ‘wig on a stick’ climbed the greasy pole to inexplicably land the role of United States Secretary of Homeland Security. Stop laughing, this is serious. Kristi takes her role seriously.

So seriously, she believed the Felon when he claimed that ‘This is a great time to get rich’. So rich that Kristi didn’t care when she left her swanky Gucci handbag at The Capital Burger (classy) with $3000 cash in full sight of anyone who fancied swiping it on Sunday evening. Homeland security. Secretary of. Can’t keep her handbag safe. This is serious.

The weight of her hair extensions must be weighing heavily on her head. Unfortunately, her conscience appears to be unfathomably as light as a feather. The Department of Homeland Security, her department, has announced that it will not be renewing temporary protections for thousands of Afghans in the US, setting them up for potential deportations from May 20^th.

If you don’t know what life is like in Afghanistan (you are reading this, I am sure you do) click on the link below:

Kristi has big hair, and she does not care. These families cannot be returned to Afghanistan. Kristi you are no longer under the radar, I am watching you. Maybe you would like to drop Kristi a line and tell her you are watching her too.

Money talks and Elon cries – some good news at last!

Tesla stock is down. Way down. So down that Elon is now down. He is vewy sad and is cwying lots. Tough. ‘If you lie down with dogs, you get fleas’ as my late great aunt used to say. You have made your bed, now lie in it.

But in fairness, Elon needs company in that great big bed of self-pity, tumbling share prices and social distain. Amazon stock is also down. Nowhere near as low as Tesla but we have all got to start somewhere. Let’s make it official tea drinkers – LETS TESLA AMAZON!! I know many of us have started to boycott Amazon already and many of us are withdrawing slowly. Strong and steady wins the race so LETS TESLA AMAZON – one small avoidable purchase at a time.

I will be dedicating a whole post to mental wellbeing tips soon (I think we all need them) and writing more in my other publication ‘This Woman’s Work’. Until then, keep yourself comforted with plenty of hot tea, join in the with the Sick of this sh*t community (we are an awesome bunch) and in a world of Noems and long-lashed bitches, be a Francis.

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