It’s not you, its Trump. You are not going mad, the world is. Here’s some evidence based tips to help.
And yes, they do involve cake. Easy tips for dealing with the madness of Trump, from someone who has worked in NHS Mental Health Services (and lived through it too).
It is easy, if not inevitable, to think that you are going mad right now. At best you may feel distracted by a gnawing sense that the world is no longer a safe place, and the future is anything but certain, at worse you may feel overwhelmed and despairing. But please rest assured, it’s not you. It’s him. This is not normal.
Trump has created an alternate reality where this is an acceptable tweet from a head of state:
Pope Francis was barely cold in his grave when the Felon posted this.
Trump has created a world where ‘just doing my job’ looks like this:
Burly ICE agents detaining a Juvenile. Not nICE.
And he has created an existence where healthcare, food and heat have become as issue for all but the very few, yet this ‘gift’ is deemed acceptable:
A $400m gift from Qatar who I am sure will want nothing back in return.
So, if you are feeling a bit wobbly now, please know that you are not alone and anyone who is not reacting to the abominations above is either thick as a brick (dumb), or MAGA or benefitting in some way from this kind of tyranny (if that’s you, please fuck off, I didn’t write this for you).
I despise Felon Trump for many reasons, there isn’t a post long enough to explain why but one of the reasons is because of the strain him and his twisted ideology is placing on the mental health of everyone. Mental health matters.
It is my experience, both professional and personal that brings me to write for you today. For anyone who is feeling their mental health is being compromised. There are simple things we can do to help us take back control of our own wellbeing. In fact, there are 5 of them and they are called The 5 ways to wellbeing.
As a Recovery Support Worker for the NHS I used to teach the 5 ways to wellbeing to my patients, and I have used them myself when my own mental health has taken a tumble. They are free, they are evidence based to help boost mood and resilience and Felon Trump can’t stop any of us from doing them. So, what are they and how do we do them?
1.Connect - connecting to others can make us feel valued and validated. There are so many ways to connect – by phone, by text, by Substack, by letter person, in groups, in one-to-one situations.
Examples: Ask a neighbour how they are feeling and really listen to their reply. Send a letter or postcard to someone you have not seen for a while. Leave a comment on a post on Substack (I promise I will reply if you choose me!)
2. Get Active – we all know we should be doing more active stuff but that doesn’t have to mean costly gyms. Exercise makes everything better, think of it as movement rather than misery!
Examples: Get out in nature, walk in a park or any green space. Get away from your desk for a stretch (need to remind myself of this), have a walk to a friend’s house – connecting and getting active at the same time.
3.Take Notice – of the good stuff! Tuning in to the here and now, being mindful, is great to draw us back from ruminating on the past and worrying about the present. We only have to live now, so what is happening around you now that you can focus on to help you calm and connect?
Examples: How is your body feeling? Tune in. Tense? Where is that tension? Observe without judgement, bring yourself into the safety of now, not what you fear in the future. What is happening around you? How pretty do the flowers look on your way to work? Take a walk to a friends house whilst noticing the world around you, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the way your body feels when in moves.
4. Learn – Learning doesn’t stop when we leave school and learning is a great way boost your self-esteem, keep active and help set goals for the future. What would you like to learn?
Examples: Free language apps can help learn that language you have always wanted to be able to speak. Free yoga tutorials can get you started on your ‘downward dog’ or perhaps you have always wanted to bake a cake? Read a baking book and bake a cake to take to your friend whilst walking and noticing the world around you. It’s all building up nicely.
5. Give – You won’t catch Trump doing this but his loss. People who help others often feel better about themselves and feel more part of a community. Give and receive the gift of giving, and it doesn’t have to cost anything – compliments are free but worth their weight in gold.
Examples: Make a colleague a cup of tea. Give a compliment to a cashier – it will make their day. Bake that cake, walk to you friend’s house, noticing the world around you and connect over a slice of your delicious bake … simple, cheap, effective and nourishing for the soul (and the stomach!).
You can make up your own examples and you don’t need to do all the steps at once. Start with one a day and see how many you can build up and what works for you. Of course, if you feel you need intervention from a mental health specialist please do reach out for help. I will be the first to admit that’s not an easy thing to do and it’s often a fight to get the help you need but keep reaching out, nobody wants you to suffer alone.
Look out for some big changes to Sick of the Sh*t coming in the next few weeks. I am working on combining both of my publications to provide more content, more posts, more activism, personal writing, professional insights and political and social commentary. The tea is always hot and comforting over at my British kitchen table and there is always a seat for you!
To support my work, please consider buying me a coffee. Writing is thirsty work!
Definitely time to make another cake I think … 🎂🧁🥮
That cake looks so yummy - not a classic Black Forest, but I could just go a nice slice with a cup of proper coffee. (As much as I like tea, but you'll need coffee to accompany this yumminess!)
As regards your five tips, they're a good guide to have 'better' days. I can't say that I follow them all, but there's one which I do on a very regular basis, and that is chatting to retail and customer service workers. They're often having tough days, dealing with grumpy customers - I made the decision not to be one of those!
Sometimes, when one person was particularly nice or helpful, I'll go to the Customer Services desk and ask whether the staff there could pass on a message to management. Invariably, their faces fall, because they expect me to complain about one of their colleagues. And when I then say that 'Jane' or 'Peter' was particularly nice and helpful, they often start to smile and promise to pass the message on.
A wee while ago, I booked into a hotel in Aberdeen (I like the place but hadn't been there in a while), it was quite late when I arrived and I had an extended chat with the night receptionist. She was really helpful, telling me where to get the bus into town and what bus to take and so on. The following day I was chatting to the day receptionist on my way to the bus and asked her to mention to management, how helpful her colleague had been. She said, that she was management and that she was really pleased to hear my comments. She then added that the company had a scheme where people who had received excellent customer feedback would be entered into a lottery and could win something and that she was going to put the night receptionist forward for that month's draw!
This strengthened my resolve to be nice and chatty to frontline service staff, but also ensure that deserved compliments get fed back back to management.