Revolution in a tea cup, not a space ship.
Sick to death of Tariff talk? Sick to death of Space Travelling Tourists? Sick to death of another week of funding oligarchs? ... Read on for your much needed S.O.S!
Welcome tea drinkers. It’s that time again. Put the kettle on. Pull up a chair at my virtual kitchen table. Changing things up today, Earl Grey is my brew of choice and it’s the Felon’s pal Jeff Bezos that is in line for some scalding hot tea.
But first. Do you want detailed and insightful analysis of Felon Trump’s Tariff plan, insider knowledge on the impact on general collateral rates from the Pacific stock exchange to the Global south, along with long-term projections on base rates, bond values and market capitalization? No. Nor do I. Made most of it up. Much like I suspect the Felon when he presented his tariff lottery on 2nd April.
They are in. They are out. They are shaking it all about. They are Trump’s tariffs. And I am sick of them. What is the point of even writing about them? By the end of this post, the Felon will have performed another lightening U turn, spouting more uninformed, absurd, economically challenged, stock crashing nonsense.
Half expected the Felon to be wearing a neck brace after the whiplash-inducing U turn he performed when he announced a change to his laughable tariff policy on 9th April. You can’t believe a word he says. ‘Tariff is the most beautiful word in the dictionary’ he mused. I call bullshit. Like the Felon has ever got his teeny tiny hands on a dictionary. He thinks a library is a place you go to lie down in –he can’t understand why they always have so many books in them. Come back to me when you have something worth writing about Felon.
Unlike the Felon, I enforce a very strong inclusivity and diversity programme here at SOS. With that in mind, this week I turn my attention not to a member of the Felon’s legion of fuckwit Republican Congress. Oh no. I like to give all of Trump’s allies a bit of the Rebecca Mack treatment and therefore I am happy to extend that pleasure to Mr Jeff ‘call me babe’ Bezos and his Blue Origin Batshittery.
Jeff Bezos. Mr Amazon. You remember Jeff from the Felon’s inauguration. Clapping like a demented seal. All integrity well and truly tossed out of a window (not unlike some of his Amazon parcels) as he lauded the inauguration of everyone’s favourite convicted Felon and sexual abuser. Jeff and his fiancée Lauren ‘I’ve paid for them so I’m going to flaunt them’ Sanchez were front and centre (a lot of front in Lauren’s case) in the line of odious oligarchs fawning over the Felon. Sickening.
It is not a well-known fact, but Jeff has problems reading – the room. Jeff and his tone-deaf fiancé Lauren decided that this week was the right time to treat us all to a demonstration of their complete lack of empathy, understanding and downright decency by blasting away squillions of dollars and producing shit loads of carbon dioxide on a ten-minute trip into space.
Bonkers Bezos and his vanity project Blue Origin launched its 6 strong all female crew into space for 11 whole minutes this week. I say ‘crew’ in the same way that I will be part of the Boeing 747 ‘crew’ that will be taking me on holiday to Spain this year. Lauren Sanchez, Gayle King and Katy Perry fawned over Bezos as they made one giant leap (backwards) for female kind.
Katy is reported to have sung ‘What a wonderful world’ as she orbited around the shit-tip of a planet she left behind. Not if you are dying of an untreated septic miscarriage, it’s not Katy, sing us a song about that. Always playing to the crowd, glory seeking Katy kissed the ground as she landed back on earth. Abrego Garcia is planning to do the same – that’s a landing that deserves a crowd of millions. Shame on you Katy.
Ill timed, insensitive, idiotic and egomaniac. You can see why Bezos and the Felon are friends. Bezos does have some impressive philanthropic credentials, but their impact is severely diluted when he is found falling at the knees of a man set on world ruination and blatantly flaunting his wealth in a time of deep economic crisis. Shame on you Bezos. Shame on you and all your ‘crew’.
More tea?
Kettle back on. There is always more. I am so sick of any supporter of the Felon that I have started a one-woman campaign (yes, another one!) to stop everyday folk lining the pockets of the Felon-supporting Oligarchs. Have a look at this post I wrote earlier this week for my other Substack publication ‘This Woman’s work’ about leaving Amazon. Feel free to subscribe to ‘This Woman’s work’ too:
Cast your eyes too over this fantastic post from
, Leonardo Del Toro on Amazon abstention – kudos to Leonardo, he was way ahead of the curve.
Lent is coming to an end but feel free to extend this period of abstention and join me on my Amazon boycott. Let me know how much money you save (you need less than you think), how many lovely interactions you have with local shopkeepers ( I am on first name terms with my local hardware store owner Kamal) and how much better you feel – I feel fab.
Let them eat cake
The Blue Origin vanity space flight was a modern-day ‘Let them eat cake’ moment. Con-temp-tu-ous as the Felon himself would say. But we have an antidote. Cake is taken very seriously here at SOS, its our manna from heaven and who better to help us make cake great again, than
. ‘Cakes’ as I like to call her, is a fab baker and a fab woman who writes for Wonkette, a Substack publication that, you guessed it, doesn’t like Trump. Check out Cake’s recipe below for egg free lemon drizzle cake. They make take our eggs, but they will never take our cake!
It’s a shortened newsletter this week. I am off to join the crew of the 12.55 Pendolino express train to Liverpool for my Easter Holiday. Just need to squeeze myself into my space suit, blow wave my hair and fix my make-up… I am ‘crew’ after all!
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As ever Rebecca well said , it really has come to something when an 11 minute trip on blue origin is P R washed to the world as “ an inspiration to girls and women “. The women that used every hard one synapse to create everything NASA achieved for decades get zero recognition and if the they were black or native Americans they have had legacy deleted by Musk on official government records under his anti woke agenda (DEI destruction) , along with the Navaho code talkers from ww2. Bezos should be fined for his environmental disaster masquerading as inspiration for women. Sorry did I say fined , I meant shot. Earl grey does that to me . Thanks for the tea Rebecca
Thank you for promoting my humble little recipes, Rebecca. I'm hoping to expand my writing into a more regular blog than my monthly Wonkette recipe once I've finished my history degree this summer, hopefully you'll find some more cakes you'll like when I do that.